21 - Matching Ties

So I look like a waiter: I've had worse jobs. I just cannot match ties to shirts; even the fact that I want to match a tie to a shirt condemns me. I pick a nice striped tie in shades of purple and I want to wear it on a green candy-striped shirt. It doesn't work, so I try a plainer tie. When that doesn't work, I try a different shirt. When all else fails I try to shop in a store where a trained person has already matched some clothes on mannequins, only to find that they haven't got my collar size.

It just leads to rage, impotence, frustration that I cannot do such a simple thing as co-ordinate the things I wear. Can you imagine how much worse I feel as a writer unable to use metaphor?